I survived but my wife did not, at the same hospital. I had diabetes, she was healthier. What was different? Here is our story….

The holidays were around the corner, it was our favorite time of year. We were working and it almost seemed like things were back to normal except wearing a face mask and the sanitation measures were still intact.  Places began to open and we got too comfortable. I was the first to get sick and our daughter as well right after Halloween. It didn’t feel like it was Covid.  I remember thinking what was the difference? How could I tell? So we stayed home and tried to get well.  About a week later, around the 11th of November, I lost my taste and smell.  My wife was still working and she began to feel sick soon after. Her throat was sore and her body was achy. My wife and I experienced much different symptoms. I was worried about her and told her to go to an urgent care. She came back with the news she had Covid 19. My heart sank a little. I remember feeling violated, because we were always careful to take care of ourselves, confused on how this could happen. She came home and reported to her employer her status and was told she could come back to work in ten days. We both started on some over the counter medications for our symptoms, such as teas, soup, and other things we thought would help us recover and get back to work. I started feeling more and more like myself, but I could tell my wife was really struggling to breathe.

One morning, I could tell she had not slept, so I said since you tried everything including humidifiers and medications and nothing has worked, maybe you need to go to hospital. We were scared and did not want to assume the worst, but we were blindsided by this virus and did not know what else to do. She was admitted to the hospital and then I started feeling worse. I had a fever, chills and my vision became blurred at times. I was okay when I was sitting down, but moving around, I had shortness of breath. With no one to take care of our daughter, I waited three days. Our daughter came down with a fever. I could not take it any longer so I took myself and our daughter to the hospital. After calling our family, they suggest we go to the same hospital as Evangeline. Upon arrival, I told the hospital my wife was here as well with Covid. A doctor in the emergency room said she knew who my wife was and was thinking about how we were. My wife had told her I was sick also and that she was worried about me, my heart sank. I was finally admitted for pneumonia COVID-19 and my nightmare began in the hospital. I was with my daughter but, thankfully, she tested negative. She did not have COVID-19 so they told me if I could have somebody pick her up or she would have to go with foster care.  I went through my phone and could only find one person to pick her up. After she was gone, I laid in the emergency room for hours without air, food, or water. Feeling like I was gonna die and I could not get the nurses attention and I could hear them all laughing making jokes. I could see the shadows of them passing by and I would think, why would they not help me? I had to start screaming for help to get up. Finally, a nurse who cared, helped me. I asked her if she was only one there because I had being calling for a long time.

I asked for water, food and air, because when they would close the door, the room had no air and I felt like I was suffocating. I had to break down and beg and cry for someone to help me. I remember thinking what did I do to deserve this slow death. Meanwhile, my wife was asking for me and had the nurses trying to find out where I was and what was going on with the baby. I could barely even talk, but finally she facetimed me and said she started her period and her oxygen level was low so she was on a bi-pap mask. She told me that no one had given her food or water and she was hungry and thirsty. She told me she was worried about me and that she just wanted to go home. I told her to breathe into her nose. I was only two doors down from my wife and we were not allowed to see each other.  We could only use our phones to communicate so she would text me saying that no one would listen to her. I asked to speak with her nurse and doctor to figure why!

On the second day, I called to ask for help and a nurse came in the room to tell me she was very busy and could not do more than one thing at a time so for me not to be calling her for something I didn’t need. I felt ignored as a patient in that hospital when this was her job and obviously, this was not her passion. I thought because I was sick, I needed help. She said she could not help me so I told her never mind, to forget it. I will wait a little longer to see if another nurse comes along.

Finally,  after a few hours I called the nurse again and she came in and she wanted to know what I needed because she had three other patients that she had to help. Since they didn’t let us get out of bed, I peed all over myself. I wanted the bed sheets changed and they insisted on using some kind of a catheter that was not properly inserted. I just wanted to get up myself, but could not. I told the tech guy I did not want her to be my nurse and demanded to speak to the head nurse!

Meanwhile, my wife was texting me that she was also being ignored. The nurses looked at us like we were always asking for too much. We felt discriminated against because we were not vaccinated. All I wanted to do was get better! After hours, I had not heard from my wife and found out that they were sedating her. Finally, after 3 days, I spoke to the doctor that was treating both of us. He told me I was in limbo and that I could get better or I could get worse, it was a waiting game. He told me that my wife was going to the ICU, because she was worse.  I started to look up things he was saying about my wife, because I did not know what was going on. He asked me if I could try to help her because she did not know what was going on. He told me she was getting aggressive with them. I said it’s because she doesn’t understand what is going on. My treatment plan for treating pneumonia with steroids was going forward and I began flushing out my nasal passages and coughing up as much phlegm as I could. I heard from her less and less because they kept her sedated every day. I fought to get out and go home, because we still had our lives and our daughter at home.

My mind scrambled so I did what I could and was released about the 28th or 29th of November. My wife was so happy for me and now she could focus on herself getting better. I was texting her and she was responsive,  she said she was putting all her energy into getting better. However, I was not aware of her treatment plan and would ask the doctor to please call me. They told me they did not like me to call, that I was bothering them. I tried to assure them that I was thankful for them and only needed to know how she was doing and what her future looked like. They kept telling me it was a long recovery. She told me she was excited she was going to try and eat something and then we said goodnight, I never talked to her again. That night I was told her lung collapsed and she had to have a tube put in her lung and put on the ventilator. No one asked me, her spouse, if this was what we wanted? Why did this happen? I kept asking over the course of days if she was stable. She spiked a fever so they had to do blood work. The blood work confirmed she had MRSA and she was placed on antibiotics. We were hopeful even though I had to beg for an update on her condition everyday. We were told she was stable and that she was not getting worse. Then one morning, I woke up to pray for our family and the phone rang. Hoping it was good news because I rarely got a call this early. It was the nurse asking if we were legally married…again.  If so, I should probably go down to the hospital, she was having complications. I thought I have to get ready and find a babysitter and told them I would be there shortly. I received another call, this time more urgent asking me if I wanted them to do CPR on her.  I said yes,  keep her alive! I begged and  I was so confused, because they never told me she was not going to make it. I could not get to the hospital fast enough, she was in heart failure when I arrived. They told me that to bring her back would be harder on her. What could I say, what could I do? I was not prepared for her to die. I wanted her to live and come home. I could not make this decision watching her vitals slowly dissipate. I could not bare to think she was suffering, as they had already brought her back 3 times. I said that was enough and I was there to watch her take her last breath.

I asked them to baptize her before she passed and the chaplain did, and like that, she was gone.  I regret telling her to go to the hospital. I felt like it was my fault she ended up in the hospital, because I was afraid. It was fear that drove us to her death. My story is probably like many others, but Evangeline was special to us. Knowing her was a gift to me and our daughter is her legacy. I don’t want her to be forgotten. I want her daughter to know who she was and to  know why this happened to her and prevent it from happening again. I question why I survived and she did not? Was it because I was more assertive in the hospital? We will never know I guess. I do know that these protocols killed my wife and I will continue to seek justice and be a voice for my wife.