My darling Steve first came down with symptoms on October 2nd, 2021. He went to the emergency room on 10/04/2021, where he had a CXR done that indicated he had covid pneumonia, was sent home. Instructions were to come back if he had worsening symptoms, fever, so on and so forth. He was not told to avoid the hot showers that he loved so much. I kept asking him if he wanted to return to the hospital and he would always tell me no, “they can’t do anything for me anyway.” His oldest step daughter stopped to check on him on October 8th, 2021 and asked him why he didn’t tell her about him being sick, and he said “I didn’t want to listen to your rhetoric!”

His oxygen level was in the 80’s, and sometimes in the 70’s. He still didn’t want to go to the hospital, but she convinced him to go. He was not admitted until midnight on the 8th, making it the 9th. While in the ER he was asked if he wanted to be a DNR or a Full Code. He said he wanted to be a FULL CODE, he still had life he wanted to live. They came in with the remdesivir and said that the Dr. ordered it (Dr. was not in house, had a NP I believe). He had already been sick since the 2nd!!!! He was taken up to his room while I had to go home. (We both had covid, only mind was not as severe as his.)

I was able to see him on Saturday the 9th, and had previously been given the green light to see him whenever I wanted to, but that changed to “if the nurses tell you no, do not argue with them” – so the 30 minutes or so that I seen him on the 9th was the last time I got to see him. I kept in touch with the staff, and only once did a Dr call me to let me know he needed a chest tube. No other communications ever came from a provider!! I spoke to a nurse who said that he was retaining fluid and they had started him on IV lasix, and when asked how it was working, they said not as well as they thought it would. I suggested bumex because it works when Lasix fails.

Not even sure if the message was passed along to the MD/NP/PA?? What I do know, is Monday morning the 11th, he called me to tell me good morning, and that he loved me. Monday afternoon, the nurse said he had come off his Bi-Pap and onto high flow oxygen and was able to get up and to the bathroom, and eat a chocolate  milk shake without his oxygen levels dropping. Tuesday the 12th in the very early hours, he started picking at his IV, pulled it out, and pulled out the other line he had going. I know he was missing me terribly, I kept him grounded. It didn’t matter to anyone else that he needed ME! The decision was made to intubate, and while preparing him for that, he had a massive heart attack! I truly feel that if I had only listened to him, and kept him home, he’d still be with me. But, I will never know.