My dear sweet amazing Mother had been ill for a few days. (She was only 75 and healthy but for arthritis) I knew she wasn’t feeling well. She lived alone and since she had trouble breathing she called an ambulance. They took her to the closest Hospital in Waukegan, IL. Myself nor my Brother or his wife knew she was there until they called her sister & she said she probably went to the hospital. I then called the ER to find out her status. The Nurse I spoke to (didn’t get her name) said “She is Covid negative but has pneumonia, she is getting antibiotics so she’ll be just fine.” I was so relieved.

Hours later my Sister in law gets a call from ER saying my Mom wants to be picked up to go home. When she got there she was weak & on oxygen via a nasal cannula. So she called me as the Doctor was there. I could hear what he was telling my Sister in Law & he said she is Covid positive. I said What” I was told she is Covid Negative & just has Pneumonia & is on antibiotics she’ll be fine. He said “who told you that” in a condescending way. I said I don’t know I just know I was relieved. Which gives me the idea that she was Covid negative & the Dr lied about it for $$. So the first thing I said when he claimed she was positive was “Do not give her Remdesivir!!! well they already had. I was furious! I told him to take her off that immediately! So he said he did.

She also was not getting nourishment or water. Her sats were in the 80’s and she was extremely anxious. She begged us to take her home, now I really wish I did. But I got this song and dance from the Hospital how bad she was & wouldn’t survive without the oxygen. But my Mom had an oxygen concentrator at home. The Dr claimed that wouldn’t be enough oxygen. My Mom was crying she wanted to go home, but we were so afraid we couldn’t care for her since she was so weak. Dr claimed “OK, if she really wants to go home,  he would ask if we could take an oxygen tank with us to borrow for the night, because he would just feel terrible if she went home without that oxygen (yeah, right) but had to ask administration.(I believe that to be a big act, he never asked, just putting on a production to make us think they really care) Of course he said later they supposedly said no way. So as weak as she was she decided to stay. They wanted her on a Bipap machine which she hated.

But they put her on it and sedated her (this time at her request, she has terrible anxiety) Then we thought she was in good hands so we all went home to get some sleep. Next day I call for an update, of course they are pushing for the vent. They aggressively hounded me to sign a DNR. she could not be resuscitated unless she agreed she could be vented? I said no vent. They said you gotta sign the DNR we can’t  CPR without putting her on the vent, which didn’t make sense to me at all. Since my Mom never wanted to be on a vent I signed it. I later spoke to a Dr friend of mine that said that does not make any sense. So I said take her off DNR & just make her DNI. The nurse said she’d advise the Doctor. Dr then got back to me & said we can’t just DNI, if we can’t intubate. I said I didn’t understand. He was very condescending & said I can explain it to you again if you don’t understand. Without an airway she can’t be resuscitated. I said I had never heard of that before. So I had to keep her on DNR.

Then the next day, I called for an update. One thing I asked was what antibiotics was she getting  & was told she was not getting antibiotics either, because I told them no Remdesivir (I guess they considered that the antibiotic!). And of course they all keep stressing how sick she is & I might want to think about hospice. They also said I couldn’t visit? I said, thats funny, the whole family was here visiting last night? (By the way she was in ER for like 3 days! They didn’t get her into ICU until the 3^rd day.) Well, she said family is all Covid positive. I said no we are not, where did you get that from? She couldn’t give an answer. I said no, we are fine. She said I still couldn’t visit.

I said what if I want to speak to the Doctors only in person & not go into my Moms room? No, cause you’re Covid positive and we don’t know who has an immune compromised system. I’m like what? I’m thinking, I just told you we are not positive and 2^nd isn’t the hospital where all the sick people go? what she said was utterly ridiculous, at this point masks are optional! Next day I get a call now saying they talked it over and I can visit since she is doing so poorly they expect her to pass in the near future. So I visited her that day and her numbers were in the 90’s! They looked better. So I was optimistic. Still she didn’t look good on that Bi-pap.

It seemed like it was way too much, I am wondering what it did to her lungs! I went home after visiting hours thinking I was going back the next day. I wasn’t feeling good so I did not go to see her, this would be Monday. I did keep contacting for updates and her numbers were in the upper 90’s all day, so I really thought she would be coming home. Tues morning I get this frantic call from a different Doctor saying I need to get in right away, her sats are in the 30’s! I’m thinking how the heck did that happen so fast?

So I get there and she looks terrible! Swollen from the steroids or whatever else they were giving her. Then the nurse mentioned they gave her some morphine for pain??? It didn’t dawn on me at the time, but I found out you can never combine Ativan with Morphine!!!  They never told us or asked us about giving that to her! This I believe is how and why her sats plummeted.

So we decided to give her a break from the Bipap & put her on a high flow cannula for a while with budesonide to see if that would help. They said nobody could be in the room because it aerosolizes (which has never been proven). I was concerned though cause the bi-pap seemed to be forcing a lot of air into her lungs, what if she couldn’t breath when they changed to high flow cannula? So they start the change over and the two nurses the Dr and I leave the room. He said about an hour I can come back. No sooner did I get out into the waiting room the Dr is calling me, you have to come in here right away, her oxygen levels are worse! So I run back & she’s not even breathing! The cannula was not enough, and I told them I was afraid of that! They wouldn’t put the Bipap back on, and I had to watch my poor sweet Mother suffocate while conscious! It was traumatizing!

Now at this point I though nobody was supposed to be in the room with the Nebulizer going? But the 2 nurses & Dr were there, with there arms crossed, watching as I held my mothers Hand, waiting, like vultures, waiting for her to die! They said they gave her Morphine for pain, I said the only pain she is in is struggling to breathe! They also gave her Ativan to keep her sedated so she was “comfortable”. She couldn’t fill her lungs without the bipap! I said “she’s not breathing” he said she is, it’s just slower. I said no, she’s not, They ignored me. ! as they watched and waited, impatiently I might add, for her to die! Meanwhile, as my mothers numbers are  plummeting, And as she is dying, one nurse comes up to her to check her insulin!!! And then to give her insulin!!! What!!! She can’t breathe! Are you kidding me! This was all an act by them, a big production making it look like they are doing something for her. It was like that from the get go, a big production they were putting on.

My dear sweet innocent Mothers heart finally stopped, after her struggling to breath for 20 minutes or so.  Soon as the nurses (the doc was gone by then) saw she was flat lined, they rushed up with their stethoscopes and explained to me that they need 2 nurses to confirm there is no longer a heartbeat. So they did. Never have I seen such coldness & Callousness in my life. And rewind to when I first talked to this Doc (there were 3, didn’t like any of them) I knew he was a smooth talking liar. When asked about giving her antibiotics he claimed something about her chart says she’s highly allergic to one of them, which was an out and out LIE! My Mom was not allergic to any antibiotics, only codeine bothered her.

Throughout this whole ordeal, I did not once feel any sense of empathy or caring. I only got roadblocks from them at every turn. I asked if they would give mega doses of vitamin C, Vitamin D, Antibiotics, nourishment, Ivermectin, they had an BS excuse every time! “We don’t have Vitamin C in IV form, and she can’t eat so we can’t give her that. Same with D. Same with Ivermectin. I asked if they did a CT scan, no just an Xray. Did you culture her lungs since she has pneumonia? No. Then Mon, supposedly they put a feeding tube in (after me hounding them) and said it was successful. So I asked then is she getting Ivermectin & vitamins and nourishment? Well, now it’s clogged. This is the kind of Crap they pulled on me the entire time! Then Dr tried to justify her being allowed to DNR as he claimed she was fighting Covid, influenza B and Pneumonia.  How is that possible?

*NOTES*  They gave her “Colace” so she would have an easier time having a bowel movement? But no Ivermectin, no respiratory antibiotics, no nutrition, no water. Never saw a pulmonologist. I believe the nurse said she was on Presodex, a sedation drug which is not supposed to be used more than 24 hours. (Not sure, waiting for her records) Ativan, Morphine. These should not be combined. I have a feeling the gave her a paralytic drug as well but don’t know that for sure either. They would not let me see all the medications she was being given, would not let me see her chart. So I could sign her DNR but could not see her treatment??? They did everything in their power to keep her sick and murder her. My heart is broken beyond repair.