On September 15, 2021, my father, Andy Lawhon, began experiencing symptoms of COVID-19. At 77 years old, he was still strong in spirit, full of wisdom and warmth. When his symptoms first appeared, we sought medical attention, and urgent care advised that he should be admitted to the hospital if his condition worsened.

By Sunday, September 19, 2021, his breathing became labored, and it was clear he needed more medical support. He was admitted to North Mississippi Medical Center. The ER attendng nurse leaned in and warned me to refuse the Remdesivir, which i already knew to do, but i was thankful for her telling me. However when the doctor came in and said he was going to start him on it, i said NO SIR, do not give him that medication – it is dangerous! and he slammed back the curtain and left the room.     We were not allowed to visit or advocate for him in person. He was alone in the hospital, navigating a system that, at times, felt impersonal and overwhelming.

The  ICU  nurses were kind and called me twice a day for updates. On Monday night, the young man called, said he was doing good, and was telling stories about going to Ole Miss, and he was laughing, saying what a character my dad was!

Despite the isolation, we held onto hope. He showed signs of improvement, and we believed he was on the road to recovery. On Wednesday, September 22, 2021, they called me to say that he was doing so well that they were going to take him off his oxygen! However, an hour later they called saying that he had taken a turn for the worse and had coded, and he be placed on a ventilator. He coded again i think as they were trying to intubate him, and within the hour of that decision, my father passed away.

It is my belief that the ventilator played a significant role in his passing. While I am not a doctor, I have since learned more about the risks associated with ventilators and the importance of understanding all available options. I share this story not just to honor my father, but to encourage others to ask the second and third questions when it comes to medical decisions. Advocate for your loved ones. Question protocols. Ensure that every decision made is truly in their best interest.

Losing my father in this way has left an ache that words can never fully express. But if sharing his story can help even one family navigate these difficult medical decisions with more awareness, then his passing will not be in vain. He was more than a  patient. He was a father, a mentor, and a man deeply loved. And his story matters.