Our 40th anniversary was August 23, 2021. That is also the day he went to Urgent Care and tested positive for Covid. We had lost our home to Hurricane Laura on August 27, 2020 and were living with family so he and I decided we would quarantine at our camp. We packed up and left within an hour of him coming home. He said he didn’t feel sick at all, which to me was amazing, but he was never sick. Everything was fine for a couple days. Then his taste changed and he couldn’t find anything that he wanted to drink or eat. I kept him hydrated and he could get bone broth down, so I made that for him. By August 29th, he was having trouble breathing so we decided to go home. We talked and both decided no hospital. But by the next day, his breathing was getting worse and he was scared. He wanted to go to the hospital. I told him that they were going to take him from me and not let me see him. He assured me he could handle it and he was going to be fine. At the ER, they allowed me to go to the back in triage.

The first question was if he had the vaccine. They did not ask for a family history, what medications he took or anything particular about Johnie that would have helped them to treat him. Now I know why. They never intended to treat him with anything, but indifference. After they got his vitals, they told me I would have to leave. I was holding his hand and he squeezed my hand and then kissed it. I told him that I loved him and they wheeled him to the back. He was looking back over his shoulder at me as they wheeled him away. I had no idea that would be my last time to see him alive. I went to the waiting area and let my sons know what was happening. One of the nurses came out to the waiting area to tell us that we just needed to leave because no one would be allowed in the back. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere. Then his nurse came to talk to us. So nice and sweet and he assured me that he was going to personally take care of Johnie.  He would call me if there was any updates and if anything was happening. He said they had started an IV and giving him oxygen. My sons stayed for a couple hours and then left.

I had one of the front desk people take his cell phone to him and within a minute he texted me. No oxygen yet and while he had been stuck with the IV, no bag of medicine had been hooked up.  He said he still could not breathe. Why won’t they give me oxygen? I am struggling. So I went to the desk. The woman who worked the desk laughed at me and said he did not get the vaccine; they were following the Covid protocol which meant I could not see him;  and you need to leave.  (This is the only time I went to the desk).  She called the security guards and told them she wanted me to go. No patient with Covid could have family in the waiting room. They told me I had to go. I said fine. I will go to the parking lot and sit in my car. They said no, that would be too dangerous. I had to leave the campus. With my heart shattered, I drove home.

I got there around 4am. I left home at 7am and headed back. They still had not gotten him into a room. He was laying on a ER gurney. His nurse came out and said his breathing was a little improved and if they had a larger canister it would help considerably. I left to go to a medical supply and buy one. I brought it back and took it to the desk. The same woman was at the desk from the night before. She took the oxygen canister and took it to the back. When she came back, she did not even look at me.  She just told me I would have to leave and do not come back unless they called. They called around 1pm to tell me that his breathing had improved. He tested negative for Covid at that time. He could come home! They were setting him up with oxygen at our house. I was so happy! He sent me a selfie and a text that said, “I beat this thing. I’m coming home to you baby.” They told me they had to give him some medicine that was in the Covid protocol and after receiving that he could go home.  They would not give me details and I did not have any choice. He literally belonged to them.

Two to three hours passed and no one called. I called the nurses desk. How was he doing? He has not texted me or called. That liar told me he was fine and that his phone’s battery had died. We will call you soon.  Another hour went by. Then I get a call out of New Orleans. It was a neurologist.  As soon as she identified herself, the first thing I said was what have y’all done to my husband. She said he has had a massive stroke.  They had already put him on the vent and were transporting him by helicopter to Ocshners in Lafayette. I knew then that they had killed my baby. I fell to my knees and prayed.  Ocshners called us to say that he was on his way to them. They would allow us to see him. We were on our way there.

We walked into ICU masked up. Inside the ICU, we had to put on PPE and go in. Oh God! My strong, athletic, funny, wonderful husband was gone. Yes, he was laying there, but I knew the awful truth. We were allowed to visit him for 20 minutes, but had to leave. I would be back the next morning for the early visit. I was there an hour early. They called me back before the other visitors got to go in. I knew that was not good. This time the surgeon was waiting on me before going in. Johnie had another blood clot in his leg. I had two choices:  amputate his leg or do surgery to remove the clot. His chances for survival were about 10%. I told him I had to speak to my sons. We decided on the removal of the clot, but no amputation. He survived the surgery. When I went in after the surgery, the doctor was talking to me about all the particulars of what was going on. He was very nice. He asked if I was a religious person. I told him I had been praying like never before. And he told me that was all we could do. Just remember sometimes the answer to the prayer is no. Now, this surgeon is talking to me with no mask or gloves on when a nurse came in and was literally hollering at me about PPE. It cost so much money for them to give me PPE and it took it from all of the medical staff. The surgeon told me that she was the Covid protocol nurse. And said he was sorry. The two of them had a few cross words and he told me to go ahead and visit with Johnie. The whole time I was in Johnie’s room, the two of them argued. But, he made sure I got to see Johnie for a while.

The next morning they called me to say they were going to remove him from the vent. We had to get there asap. We got there and they escorted us back. They explained that the decision had been made that there was nothing more they could do. The doctor helped me put on the PPE. One of the nurses was getting PPE for my sons and daughter in law. Then the protocol nurse came in. No more than two can go in. The doctor told her that we were going in for the last time. That nurse said I don’t care! (I will never forget) I asked why? She said do you have any idea how expensive the PPE is and we will run out. I’m crying, but I told her that I would buy her a case of each and she still said no. My oldest son said, “go ahead and go in Mama”. I did and I opened the curtain where he could at least see his Dad. My son and his wife stood at that glass with tears streaming down their faces. And then that same doctor hit the desk and said that’s enough! He went and got the PPE himself and he helped my son suit up. My son and daughter in law got to be with us. The same nurse came back and saw us standing around the bed. She wanted to know who had allowed that. The doctor told her he did. She told him she was going to HR. He laughed at her. Johnie went to heaven within an hour of being taken off the vent.

I have been trying to get the medical records from Rapides Hospital since January of 2022. I have sent everything they said they needed three times. They refuse to give them to me. I hired a attorney to do his succession and asked if they would request them. They did. Certified mail with a original death certificate. Twice. I still can’t get them. My whole world is upside down. I’ve had to fight to get everything taken care of. Even his life insurance tried to screw me over. And now, I found out in June of 2022, that I have stage 4 metastatic cervical cancer. My sons say it is because I’ve been so down since losing Johnie. I think they’re right. So, to me it’s like they effectively killed us both. Oh, that PPE that she claimed was so expensive? She’s right. Because it was charged on my husbands medical bill. $6000 for PPE.

I will never trust the medical community again. For me with cancer, I am not going to any hospital. I am not going through treatments. I will be here at my home. My sons and family can come see me whenever they want to. No one will tell them they have 20 minutes. This has been life altering. I see these people for what they are. No one should tell me they were over Covid protocol at a hospital. Hopefully I can just walk away disgusted. But I don’t know.