My husband had been having difficulty regulating his blood oxygen with his at-home oxygen.  When I found my husband on his knees trying to pull himself into the bed, I called 911.  I really thought his emphysema had reached stage 4 and that was the reason for his weakness & oxygen levels.

Once I was allowed back in the ER, the nurse told me he would be there a couple of days and go home.  I felt confident that he would be okay.  He was alert and aware.

Once they started antibiotics for his lung infection, his appetite started to return.  A respiratory doctor came in and asked if he had taken a Covid test.  We said, “No and we didn’t want one.”   She said, “Well, I won’t be able to treat him properly if I don’t know what kind of infection he has.”   So we conceded to do the test.  I let her know my doubts about the accuracy of the test, but she insisted everything was sterile and her handheld machine was accurate and would highlight which infection he had.  Of course, it came back Covid-positive.  I said,  “Well, then we want Hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin.”   She said,  “Not FDA-approved.”  Remdesivir was what they used.  We both declined.  I could tell she was not happy and she said, “Okay, then, we’ll just keep throwing antibiotics at him.”

Once he was moved into his room, he was eating, drinking water, alert and asked me to go get him a Diet Coke.  Every respiratory doctor that came in said he’s not doing any better.  His oxygen kept dropping and they made it sound like it was the COVID causing it.  We found out his emphysema was moderate, so he wasn’t stage 4.  And the heart never occurred to me.  Of course, the doctors never mentioned the heart could be causing the drop in oxygen even though his medical records show blood work elevated proBNP.  EKG was normal, but my sister and her husband both had heart attacks and as they were in the hospital their EKG was normal.  Actually, that’s the reason neither of us suspected heart because all his EKGs were normal when he would go to his doctor appointments.

All the respiratory doctors would tell us is he’s not getting better, and they kept pushing Remdesivir.  We said, “No!”  One day after one of the Respiratory doctors left the room, a very sweet nurse came over and put her arms around me.  She said, “I know how difficult this is for you.”  She told me she had Covid and was treated with Remdesivir, and it saved her life.

Feeling lost with no solution to his condition, I asked my husband if he heard what she said.  He said, “Yes.”  I said, “What do you think?”  Honestly, by that time, I thought the Covid agenda had ended.  It’s really hard to conceive that a doctor would actually harm you and not help you.  I thought maybe they changed the formula for Remdesivir and it could save his life.  I was exhausted and sick and I had no advocate to help me with these decisions.

We agreed to try Remdesivir.  My husband said, “Well, I’ll either walk out of here with you or you’ll walk out a widow.”  After the first treatment, he immediately went downhill.  Lost control of his bowels, he was delirious, and no longer knew who I was.  They took all food and water away from him, because he said he didn’t want to be intubated.  They used a BiPap forcing air into his lungs (one step under intubation).  I sat and watched my husband being tortured and felt so helpless.  That’s an image I will never get out of my mind.  He was on Remdesivir for 5 days.  On day 5, I walked out of his hospital room a widow!!

Pat was my best friend, my rock!  He was everything to me and they took that away from me.  I will never be the same!  I miss my husband so much every single day.  I feel like it’s a nightmare I will wake from, but when I wake, I realize it’s reality!  My heart is forever broken!

I truly believe if my husband had been treated properly, he would be home with me now.  But, as soon as they realized they could diagnose him with Covid, he was a marked man.  They were not going to treat him properly!!