On November 9^th, Mathew went to the hospital to see if he could get the antibodies, but was denied.  His age and high blood pressure should have qualified him. He was given a steroid shot which made him very dizzy so they decided to keep him.  His prognosis was excellent.

On November 10th, in his medical records it is noted “Acute Kidney Injury” and “do not recommend Remdesivir”.  Also somewhere along the way, they changed him from being “non smoker no drugs Healthy male” to “smoker IV drug user chronically ill obese male”.

He was doing pretty well and we both thought he would be home in a day or two. On November 12^th, there was a GI consult for bloody diarrhea, therefore the doctor recommended stopping the anticoagulants.

I only spoke to the doctors a few times, but Mat had told me he had gotten Remdesivir.  After his 1st dose, the next morning the Nurse told me he had not tolerated the medication indicating his kidney panel from his blood work.  I spoke to the pulmonologist after he was transferred to ICU.  Mat was put on a Bi-pap and the doctor told me he was going to die.  I begged him to try other treatments and not give up on him.  He was very cold and said he wasn’t, but not to get my hopes up.

I went and got a COVID  test so I could go see my husband.  I was negative, but still very weak and sick.  Mat was in ICU and when I got there, they wouldn’t let me go into his isolation room.  I just walked in when they turned away.

When I got into the dark filthy room, I was shocked.  The floors were dirty and there was trash piled up on the sink.  When I talked to Mat, I told him how scared I was and what the doctor had said.  He was shocked and said he didn’t feel that bad. I then called the hospital director because of the condition of ICU room. When she came into the room, she admitted it wasn’t clean then threatened me with having me arrested if I didn’t leave immediately.  We were treated like criminals.  We were threatened and I pointed out the conditions of the ICU room. (I have pictures). The floor was filthy and there was trash on the sink on the floor.  His sheets were dirty and he wasn’t in a gown just his underwear. I was so beyond upset. I begged to see the doctor for an explanation of the treatment he was receiving and was told I didn’t understand.  The Assistant Director called Dr. Kassar, the hospitalist, for me to speak to. He yelled at me and told me I was wasting his time talking to me. I asked him to do a Covid test on Mat so I could go and sit with him, but he refused. I asked for an updated chest x-ray and he refused saying it was ridiculous.

The doctor made Mat a DNR without my knowledge and without Mat’s permission because we indicated that we wanted to avoid intubation. I feel like he did this as retaliation for questioning him.  He had more important things to do. I asked him to do a chest X-ray on Mat and a COVID test. I said I’m sure he is negative then I can come and sit with him. He refused, I begged and he hung up on me.

I didn’t know that during his time in ICU, Mat had texted his sister asking for water.  He also texted my friend in Texas asking for water. He had told me how thirsty he was and when I called and asked the ICU nurse to please take him water, her response was “do you want him to suffocate??”  The director heard our conversation and apologized to me.  They agreed to do a COVID test and chest x ray. They did not do the X-ray.  I stayed for about an hour, but they would not let me see Mat.  We spoke while I was in the waiting room.  He said that someone came in and cleaned the floor; gave him a bath; breathing treatment; changed all the bi pap tubing; and brought him a bottle of water.

Mat coded the next day and was vented. I was allowed to go back to the hospital on November 20th.  He had coded during the night, but no one called.  Dr. Kassar discouraged any hope and told me Mat was dying.  I really didn’t believe it.  Mat was on a vent.  I sat with him for 5 hours or so and he coded again.  They did not want to resuscitate him. I asked them to, but he passed away.

His COVID test was negative, but they never told me that.

My vibrant strong husband was gone in 11 days.  There is so much and so difficult to write out. I feel this is jumbled, but my husband was mistreated and I feel murdered.  He was definitely given medications that killed him. The day he passed there was a kidney consult and he was in Acute Kidney failure.  I also was very ill with Covid, however I had gotten the antibodies.   Our adult kids and their families were also very ill with Covid.  I was not a good advocate for my husband because of this, and we carry a lot of guilt.  Mat was a husband, father and grandfather.  He was the best of men and was murdered by uncaring medical personnel.