During the week of 12/19/2021, myself, husband, and two sons became ill with Covid. I had it the worst. By 12/30/21, I was showing absolutely no improvement and my oxygen sats were in the 80s.  The Kaiser advice nurse told me to head to the ER. I was diagnosed with Covid pneumonia and admitted. I was offered remdesivir in the ER, but refused because I had read how deadly and ineffective that drug was.  The doctor didn’t push it.

The next morning when the doctor came to see me he said he saw that I refused remdesivir.  He told me that he wouldn’t have recommended it anyways because I was over two weeks into the illness and they like to give it to patients within five days of symptoms.  I’m unvaccinated and was given the talk. I told the doctor I had done my research and chose not to participate in a drug trial using an emergency use authorization only gene editing medicine. I told him that if he wanted to be a guinea pig that was his choice.  That ended the vaccine lecture. He told me that he could go ahead and discharge me with antibiotics, steroids, and oxygen to which I wholeheartedly agreed to.

When I arrived home from the hospital on 12/31/21 my husband told me he was starting to feel pretty bad.  He called the advise nurse and expected the same outcome as I received.  Unfortunately, that didn’t happen for him. He was admitted also with Covid pneumonia. He got chewed out by the ER doctor for not being vaccinated.  He gave the doctor the same explanation I did, but went further by explaining to him that he had thrombocytopenia and that a known side effect of the vaccine was thrombocytopenia and he didn’t want to risk worsening his condition which at the time was causing no problems for him. This doctor didn’t care. My husband refused remdesivir in the ER.

Prior to going to the hospital my husband was still trying to keep up with 10,000 steps a day in between feeling bad and breaks in his fever. His symptoms were not as severe as mine. On Sunday, 1/2/22, my husband was given his first dose of remdesivir unbeknownst to me.  That night he called me and could barely talk.  He told me that he was advised by his nurse to call home and get his things in order because he wasn’t going to make it.  I became angry and demanded to speak with the nurse.  The nurse explained that my husband needed to lay prone for 16 hours a day to prevent a trip to the ICU and was trying to show him tough love so that he would comply.  My husband complied.  Due to my trying to recover at home and my husband and I only speaking briefly on the phone I was unaware that he had agreed to remdesivir until he was a few days in.

My mind was foggy and I don’t recall exactly when I became aware he was being given this drug. It was after his death and reading his text messages on his phone between us that I realized 1/2/2022 was his first dose of remdesivir and that was the night he was told he wasn’t going to make it. He reacted negatively that quickly following the first dose. During that week of 1/2/22 we thought he might get to come home that weekend.  Instead, he was put in the ICU on 1/8/22 and on a vent on 1/9/22. He went from taking care of me and trying to get in his 10,000 steps, to a ventilator approximately a week after being admitted to the hospital.

Since his passing I could not understand why if it was not appropriate for me to be given remdesivir due to the length of my illness, why was it appropriate to administer it to him when he began to be ill only a few days following myself. He was way past the five day window I was advised of.  My husband suffered with toenail fungus on his big toe prior to all of this and his Kaiser doctors would not prescribe antifungals to treat the fungus due to the damaging effects on the liver. He had stage 1 fatty liver disease (non alcohol related).  They opted to completely remove the nail instead.  Why on earth would they give him remdesivir when they were aware of his liver condition and the damaging effects this drug has on the liver and kidneys. No antifungals for toenail fungus, but remdesivir is just fine.

One of his doctors, before going to the ICU, called me for an update and informed me that she was taking on his care and saw that he had four doses of remdesivir.  She told me that she would not have given him remdesivir but was going to go ahead and give him his last dose 1/6/22. On 1/8/22, his doctor called and told me that he needed to go the ICU due to his increasing oxygen needs. On 1/9/22, I was advised by his doctor that he needed to be put on a ventilator.  I told him that I felt he was giving him a death sentence if he went on the vent.  He assured me that they had seen success with the vent and to stay off the internet.  He told me that it was, ultimately, not my decision  but my husband’s and that he was he lucid enough to make that decision.

I don’t know what these doctors said to my husband to convince him to take remdesivir let alone go on a vent.  His oxygen levels were low and the fever and chills had really kicked in.  He was feeling terrible and I believe was desperate for relief and manipulated into agreeing to the remdesivir.  I’ll never know what happened in that room.  My husband was being heavily sedated and slept a lot which resulted in a huge lapse in our communication. He was put on a vent on the 9th and that was the beginning of the end. My boys and I were able to be with him for about 2 hours prior to his intubation. I was able to touch him and talk to him and try to encourage him to fight.

I told him this was not goodbye, but only I’ll see you later when I come to pick you up to take you home.  His condition only worsened.  I was told by one doctor that he recommended ECHMO when he knew my husband was not a candidate and had a very slim chance of survival. After that, I spent three hours on the phone with Kaiser trying to get a patient advocate to help me with my husband’s medical decisions.  I was never given an advocate because they do not have patient advocates.

My husband’s organs began failing fairly quickly.  I know my husband’s kidneys were already beginning to fail by the time he reached the ICU.  His lower back hurt so bad prior to being intubated and I later realized it was his kidneys failing and causing that pain. While in the ICU my husband developed a fungal infection from the ventilator tube.  I later learned from his medical records, following his death, that he had been put in restraints because he was trying to move. He was eventually put into complete muscle skeletal paralysis to prevent any movement.  I also learned from his medical records that he was given two of the execution drugs given to prisoners amongst so many other drugs all known to suppress breathing and damage the liver and kidneys.

It has been so painful to learn that my husband wasn’t put in the ICU to get better, but to be slowly euthanized for profit.  Unlike many others, I was allowed a 30 minute visit with him each day while he was in a medically induced coma. They made sure the restraints were removed during my visit so I wouldn’t know about them. My husband’s kidneys failed along with all of his other organs and I had to make the difficult decision to give him dialysis.  I was warned that it would be hard on his heart, but I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want him drowning in his fluids.

This was Thursday. On Friday, 1/21/22, I went to the ICU for my daily visit.  I hadn’t been home very long when I received a call my from husband’s doctor asking me to return to the hospital because my husband had taken a turn for the worse. This was at 4:18 p.m.  His death certificate says he died at 3:59 p.m. He was dead when he called me, but never told me he was dead. My oldest son drove me to the hospital and my youngest son followed shortly thereafter.  My oldest son did not visit his dad in the ICU because he didn’t want to see him that way.  He just knew his dad would make it and be back home to recover.  After he and I got all of the PPE on required to enter the ICU room things began to dawn on me.  I noticed that the vent outside his room was black and the curtains were drawn.

When my son and I walked in the room my husband lay there dead.  All of the tubes had been disconnected and all of the machines were off.  No one bothered to tell us he was dead.  They allowed us to walk into that nightmare without any warning.  My poor son collapsed.  He and his dad were best friends.  I was torn between my grieving son and my own shock and grief.  My other son arrived and we stayed with dad for a long time.

My husband’s name was Kenny. He was 53 years old and we were married 32 years.  He was my best friend and love of my life.  He had been retired for three years and we were completely inseparable. In my last moments with my beautiful husband, I crawled up in the bed with him for the last time and loved on him until he turned cold to the touch.  I kissed my precious husband’s dead lips for the last time and told him goodbye. My life will never be the same.  All of our dreams in retirement died with him.

He left behind a beautiful granddaughter who he doted on.  My youngest son and his wife had a new baby, a son, on 8/1/23.  Kenny will never get to know his new grandson Wesson Kenneth Pursell and Wesson has been robbed of a wonderful grandfather. This is a tragedy that never should have happened all for greed. Remdesivir is being used as a one-size-fits-all drug even though it clearly is deadly, ineffective, and not appropriate for all people (even it did work, which it does not). This Covid Hospital Protocol is evil and needs to stop.  I don’t want to see another family go through the tragedy we’ve gone through.